


It’s Always Just Been You

by the_write_day



Category: Ally McBeal (TV)
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Grown kid, One Shot, Post-Canon, making amends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-27 14:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18740614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_write_day/pseuds/the_write_day
Summary: Sam tries to bring back his dad's happiness.





	It’s Always Just Been You

* * *

 

**From the desk of**  
SAM PAUL

 

> May 13, 2012
> 
> Dear Ms. McBeal,
> 
> My name is Sam Paul, and I’m the son of Larry Paul. You may not remember me, but we met eleven years ago. I was seven at the time. I spent a couple days with you and my father in Boston. I hadn’t been in a while, and I’m sure I didn’t thank you then, but that time left an impression on me. And I

* * *

 

**From the desk of**  
SAM PAUL

 

> May 13, 2012
> 
> Dear Ms. McBeal,
> 
> You may not remember me, but we met eleven years ago when you were dating my father, Larry Paul. I graduated high school two days ago, and I’m going to Northwestern in the fall to pursue law, following in my father’s footsteps. If he hadn’t been here with me the past eleven years, that wouldn’t be my future, and it’s because

* * *

 

**From the desk of**  
SAM PAUL

 

> May 13, 2012
> 
> Dear Ms. McBeal,
> 
> My dad came back into my life eleven years ago. It was the best day of my life when he came back for good. I sincerely apologize that it was at your expense and WHY AM I SUCH A DOPE I CAN’T EVEN SAY THIS RIGHT I SHOULDN’T BE GOING TO LAW SCHOOL I SUCK

* * *

 

**From the desk of**  
SAM PAUL

 

> May 14, 2012
> 
> Dear Ally,
> 
> My name is Sam Paul, and this may very well be the most important thing I write in my entire life. I need to tell you that my father, Larry Paul, only came back for me. He left you for me. Trust me when I say nothing else in the universe could’ve made him leave and stay gone. I was seven, and I legitimately believe I needed him more than you at the time. He told me you understood that about him, that he needs to be a dad first. That’s why he came back with me the first time. ~~You let him go because~~ Thank you for that. Thank you for everything, because I know how hard it was. I’ve seen it from this side, and that’s when he had me. You didn’t have anyone, ~~and that’s my fault.~~ ~~My dad isn’t big on placing blame, as weird as that is for a lawyer.~~ I’m sorry. I’m sorry for it all, and I don’t know how to fix this. What am I doing? Will this even make a difference? It’s not like it even matters anymore. Ancient history. That’s what Dad says. And I want to believe him. But I don’t.

* * *

 

**From the desk of**  
SAM PAUL

 

> May 15, 2012
> 
> Dear Ally,
> 
> I got nothing.
> 
> I’m sorry, Dad. I’m so, so sorry. I know you don’t blame me, and it’s not my fault, but it is. Now I’m going to school and you’re going to be alone. You’re already so sad, and now you’re going to be all alone. Oh God, Dad, I’m so sorry, and I’m ANGRY. Why did you leave that stupid fucking note????? Maybe it wouldn’t have gotten to this point if you hadn’t done that!! So it’s your fault too, Dad, and that just makes me sad and even sorrier.
> 
> I need you to be happy.
> 
> What am I going to do?

* * *

 

**From the desk of**  
SAM PAUL

 

> May 17, 2012
> 
> Ally.
> 
> I remember looking out the window and seeing you hug. I never saw my dad hug anyone like that. Before or since. And I've never seen someone hug him that tight. Your fingers were white.
> 
> I needed him more than I loved him then. Kids are just that selfish. What I needed was more important than what he needed. We all believed that. That’s why he came here. That’s why he left you. Nothing else.
> 
> A few years ago, he broke down and told me about the note. I hated him for that. I hated him more when my mom told me what he’d said about you: you’re it. You’re it, Ally.
> 
> Back then I told you he likes to pretend nothing's ever wrong. He got better at that when he came back, and he loves me, so it took me a long time to see the truth. He’s unhappy. He’s sad. He’s been that way this whole time. He puts on his best face for me, but I’m old enough to see it now.
> 
> I’m a high school graduate now. I’m going to Northwestern in the fall. I will always need my dad. But now I can love him more than I need him, and I can to do this for him.
> 
> Eleven years is a long time. You weren’t even together for that long in the first place. None of that matters, Ally. It’s always just been you.
> 
> I’ve included my dad’s current business card. Please use it, whether it’s email or text or call. See him somewhere other than in your dreams.
> 
> Best,  
>  Sam Paul

* * *

 

_From the desk of_  
ALLY MCBEAL

 

> June 14, 2012
> 
> Hi, Sam.
> 
> Thank you for your letter. After careful consideration, I’ve returned your dad’s business card. It’s wrapped in the note he left me eleven years ago. I don’t know if that means I’m ready or not ready to move on, but it felt right.
> 
> However, I’ve included my own card. Let your dad know he can use it when he’s ready to say hello instead of good-bye.
> 
> ~~Cordially~~  
>  ~~Sincerely~~  
>  ~~Thank you~~  
>  Best,  
>  Ally

* * *

 

   **6/15/12 8:12 am**

_Sam, what is this card?_  
_Sam, where did you get this card?_  
_Is this from ALLY MCBEAL??_  
_What have you been doing???_  
_SAM!!!!_

**6/15/12 8:14 am**

_Dad. Stop blowing up my phone._  
_Just call her._  
_Love you._

* * *

 

_Brrrp. Brrrp._

 

“Hello?”

 

 

 

 

 

“Hello, Ally.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hi, Larry.”


End file.
